I could eat a goose-moose burger, fifteen pickles and a purple plum!…. Donuts, dumplings, blueberry bumplings, choc’late mush-mush, super sweet. Clan stew, ham stew, watermelon wush wush, Oh, the things that I could eat! —The… More
First, I would like to apologize for not posting last week. I had a standard cliche post half written and I never finished it. My mom moved into a rehabilitation center last Wednesday and I was focused on making her comfortable. Anyway! Last week I led the final roller derby practice of the year and I think it went okay.
Up until this practice the only things I coached were little dribblers and a few short running clinics. In both instances the participants were quite a few years younger than me and were amazed by everything I did. This was not the case for roller derby practice.
The skaters who made it to practice had been skating for a few years longer than me and were not amazed merely by my existence. I was so nervous for this practice I was up late planning it and could barely sleep thinking about it. I left my house terrified, but ready for my newbie-structured practice. However, when I showed up at the gym there were no newbies there. Sickness and the holidays left me with four veteran skaters to coach. So I had to wing it.
I adapted the games into skills courses, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. Now, don’t get me wrong my derby sisters are super fantastic people and wouldn’t have said anything even if my practice had been a mess, but I did not want them to feel like they had wasted their time by showing up.
I think it went okay. Was it perfect? No. Would I do it again? I think so.
- don’t panic; derby people are awesome
- be prepared to go off book
- work on giving adequate feedback
- learn to recognize mistakes
- sleep the night before
Well I did it. There was no need for all the drama I poured into it either. Not to mention, I think I will coach some day. Will it be derby? I don’t know. But I think I would enjoy coaching a sport, especially after I have experience under my belt.
Thank you to the skaters who put up with my cluelessness. You guys are the best!
Photo credit: Bob Good
You couldn’t say “Skat!” ‘ cause that wouldn’t be right.
You couldn’t shout “Scram!” ’cause that isn’t polite.
A host has to put up with all kinds of pests,
For a host, above all, must be nice to his guests.
So you’d try hard to smile, and you’d try to look sweet
And you’d go right on looking for moose-moss to eat.
—Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose
What an Opening Night!
What a night!
What a sight!
I’ll hoist up the curtains! The crowds will crowd in!
And my Circus McGurkus will promptly begin
With a welcoming toot on my Welcoming Horn
By my horn-tooting apes from the Jungles of Jorn
Where the very best horn-tooting apes are all born
‘Cause the very fresh air there is fine for their lungs.
And some of those fellows have two or three tongues!
—If I Ran a Circus
This time of year I tend to get a little out of control with my spending. I wish I could say it was simply because of all the millions of gifts I get for people. But, while that is somewhat true, I also spend a lot on myself. I think once I loosen the purse strings a little I loose control completely.
If you have the same problem I have some advice for you. I have a guideline I try to follow. A friend suggested it to me when I was studying abroad in Australia and I wanted to buy everything in site. I have been trying to follow it ever since. Maybe it will work for you too.
Now, there are those items that you HAVE to have. There is no question about it. I get that. Although try to cut back a little if you can. Then there are quite a few more items that you really like and you are pretty sure you want them but you don’t know if you want to spend the money.
This is what you do. Leave it on the rack or shelf and move on. If you are still thinking about it before you leave the store or mall then you should get it. However, if by the time you are ready to leave you have completely forgotten about it you probably don’t need it. You probably won’t use it if you get it.
So far this method has worked SUPER well for me. I highly recommend it. I hope it works just as well for you and maybe helps keep a few extra dollars in your wallet, especially this time of year.
Thanks for reading!
Did you ever
fly a kite
Did you ever walk
with ten cats
on your head?
Did you ever milk
this kind of cow?
Well, we can do it.
We know how.
If you never did,
These things are fun
and fun is good.
—One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
It’s been a tough week. My mom is in the hospital and that’s never easy. I hate it when she isn’t well. So this week, in her honor I put together 100 reasons of why my mom is awesome because my mom is truly the best. I love you mom!
- She always puts other first.
- She makes amazing pancakes.
- She sends me mail because simply because she knows I love it.
- When I started college she sent me a letter every week so I would always have mail.
- She always knows how to make me smile.
- Her laugh is fantastic.
- She never complains.
- She learned to make jewelry to be a camp chaperone so my sister and I could go.
- She used to leave her van at teh high school for me and walk home so I could drive home from practice.
- She let us use her clothes for Halloween costumes.
- She made the best Halloween costumes.
- She made me breakfast me every morning when I was a kid and still does when I’m home.
- She sends killer care packages.
- She packed my lunch every day when I was in school and continued to when I was working summers in college even though I told her I could do it.
- She took my sister and I to every event imaginable when we were growing up.
- She always let us brings friends along and host sleepovers.
- She learned to text because it was cheaper on the Tracfones we owned.
- She’s the best listener I know.
- She once jumped into a dumpster and searched through it when someone stole my wallet.
- When I was in college she regularly drove at least an hour to watch me run for two minutes or less.
- If I forgot anything in High School I could count on her bringing it to me.
- She used to pick me up for lunch once a week when I did want to stay at school.
- In grade school she would occasionally bring us fast food as a treat.
- She is the queen of gift giving.
- Because of her I have and will have so many photos of my life to show my kids and cherish the memories.
- She leaves the best voicemails.
- She will make whatever cake I want for my birthday, even if that means two cakes since my sister has the same birthday.
- She taught me how to sew.
- She knows how to make me laugh even when I’m at my lowest.
- She always has my back.
- She took over as Pioneer leader so the program wouldn’t have to end.
- She is the best role model anyone could ask for.
- She always understands.
- She once shoveled show with a broken arm…for two weeks.
- She’s one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.
- She has a never-ending store of support for me.
- She let us use her old clothes for dress up.
- She’s always there for me when I am sick. Even it it’s just to tell me to feel better over the phone.
- She always lets me ask dumb questions.
- She shares good books and authors with me.
- She has good taste in TV shows.
- She sends cards for every holiday.
- She makes everything look easy.
- She never gives up.
- She can always find something that I’ve lost. Even when I’ve been looking for hours.
- Just hearing her voice can make me feel better.
- She shares my love for Disney.
- She has a very green thumb.
- She is a dog whisperer.
- She is my #1 fan.
- She taught me to be grateful for what I have.
- She introduced me to all the good older movies.
- She used to have a Camaro and a motorcycle…..she was clearly a badass.
- She is the queen of bargain shopping. I can stand back and watch in awe.
- She taught me how to plan ahead.
- She taught me how to be prepared.
- She never let me win when I was a kid.
- One time she threw herself in front of me so I would puke on her and not on the new white carpet at her friends’ house.
- She can type at a superhuman speed.
- She the first person I call with good news or bad news.
- She has the patience of a saint.
- She taught me how to roller skate.
- She makes the best cookies.
- She once walked closed to a mile on a hip that needed replacing to watch my sister and I finish a half marathon.
- She has the highest pain tolerance I’ve ever seen.
- She spoils my dog when she watches him.
- She always makes my favorite food when I visit.
- My birthday is six days before Christmas and she always makes sure it feel like a birthday and not like Christmas is swallowing it.
- She used to filling our stockings randomly throughout the year just for fun.
- She once went into Spencer’s for me to buy penis pops for a gag gift I was giving.
- She used to help me clean my room when I was little and by “help” I mean sometimes she cleaned it for me.
- She almost never yelled.
- She is crazy good at math.
- She has a fantastic sense of style.
- She used to run our hot lunches out of the church basement.
- She is the most independent person I know.
- She does a pretty great Donald Duck impression.
- She taught me how to be resourceful.
- She always made sure we ate together as family.
- She let us have celebrate our half birthdays with our friends inside of our real birthdays so we could do summer activities.
- She’s my best friend.
- When we had tea parties she made us bite sized food and refilled our teapot over and over again.
- She regularly made Koolaid for me to drink when I was growing up and she still does.
- She dealt with my sister and I in the morning for years and we are NOT morning people.
- She compliments me all the time.
- She let me hard behind her shoulder during scary movies.
- She taught me how to make a quilt.
- I’ve never seen her wear more than mascara and she’s beautiful.
- She has pretty much looked the same as she did when she was 18 her whole life.
- She always proofread any paper I wrote for school and caught all the errors.
- She taught me the power of thank you.
- She makes sure everything is fair between my sister and I.
- She feeds my sock collection.
- She taught me how to be smart with money.
- She taught me my love for board games.
- She always shares her wine.
- She always wears two braids, people know her for it.
- She bikes everywhere, people know her for that too.
- She’s simply the best.
- She would move heaven and earth for me.
Halloween is easily my favorite holiday and not because of all the delicious candy. I love dressing up and carving pumpkins and dressing up again. This year, not for the first time, I was asked if I was too old for Halloween.
No. The answer is no. When I was a kid a large part of the reason I loved Halloween was the candy, but it was more than that. It was being given a day to dress however I wanted and no one would stare. It was a day to show the world what characters mean something to me.
Now it means more. Now I associate Halloween, not only with the opportunity to dress goofy and not be gawked at, but also as time to spend with my friends. I think of it as a time to appreciate the creativity of the people around me because as an adult you can take your costume to another level, throwback to your childhood and just be goofy.
For first time ever I handed out candy to trick or treaters and it added yet another layer to the fantastic holiday. This year I got to be the reason kids walked away smiling. I got to be the person who put that happy feeling in the stomach of trick or treaters when I complimented their costumes. I got to enjoy the costumes kids came up with.
This year I was the Rainbow Fish. The costume wasn’t topnotch, but it was the best I could create. I got to wear metallic fish leggings without a single stare. It was fantastic. On Halloween I dressed as Wonder Woman when I handed out candy. Again, it was wonderful. In my opinion Halloween is ageless. It mean more than candy and it always will.
Thanks for reading!
Alight. I have been up most of the night with a puppy constantly needing to go out. I am most definitely in a no nonsense mood. It’s to the point where I am biting my tongue most of the time to avoid saying something too honest.
But don’t you wish you could answer every question with brutal honesty? I’m not saying you can’t. But if you do, you may step on a few toes and hurt a few feelings along the way. Take, for example, the curious aunt on holidays. Wouldn’t it be great to tell her like it is instead of politely answering her questions? Well, let’s pretend you can. I put together a short list of those frequently asked questions and their honest answers. Enjoy!
Q: How have you been?
A: Overtired, wishing I was a better cook, and I’m super overwhelmed by all my bills, rent and loans. How have you been?
Q: What do you plan on doing with your degree?
A: Honestly, something that will help pay off my loans and it would be fantastic if I enjoyed it.
Q: Do you like your job?
A: Do you think I would tell you if I didn’t?
Q: When are you getting married?
A: When we can afford it. So probably never.
Q: Don’t you live together though?
A: Yes, because if we were to pay for two separate apartments we would never be able to afford anything.
Q: Have you gained some weight?
A: Yes, but quite frankly do you know anyone who stayed the same size they were in high school? They’re called hips my friend.
Q: Have you heard how successful so and so is?
A: What you really mean to say is I’m not that successful, right? Thanks, that makes me feel great.
Q: Have you thought about having children?
A: Yes, and then I remember how hard it is to afford to pay for me to be alive. Not to mention, I would like to be married and have a better handle on my responsibilities first. So yeah, usually I ignore that thought.
Wow, that felt great. It was almost like some sort of strange therapy thing for my exhausted, grumpy brain. Here’s to figuring things out little by little. Thanks for reading!
I’m compelled to write this blog post as an “in addition to” piece posted a few weeks ago on OnMilwaukee.com entitled “#Adulting our way through Door County” by Andy Tarnoff. Thanks Andy for showing me the ways of Door County for when I officially become an adult. Your article is fantastic, find it here.
I want to write about a few Door County options for those of us who haven’t quite made it yet. Maybe we will join you in the ranks of parenthood, owning homes, paying MORE bills, but until then our paychecks simply don’t allow us to fully #adult. And personally, I’m OK with that.
For a glorious and beautiful summer I worked at Peninsula State Park in Fish Creek. Perks included living in the park and limitless hiking out of my back door. The not so great part: the job didn’t pay an #adult salary. Above minimum wage but also not quite enough to be rolling in dough while paying the tourist tax on everything in Door County and trying to start on those student loans. As a group of relatively young college students/recent grads, we found ourselves making our own kind of fun.
So here are a few things to check out in Door County if you are not quite yet #adulting or just don’t have a bunch of disposable income.
During the Day:
Hike at the state parks or county parks
Buy an annual state park pass! Or a daily, but really think about that annual and support our parks. It gives you access to all state parks and forest areas, all year – it’s the most economical option. Check out Peninsula, Potawatomi, Whitefish Sand Dunes, or Newport State Parks. The county parks are great too, specifically Cave Point. You could spend the whole weekend outside hiking if you wanted to.
Looking for a specific hiking suggestion? Eagle Trail in Peninsula State Park is my personal favorite, it is rated as difficult but it is so worth it. Don’t bring the actual adults in your life with terrible knees… that’s all. That’s a lie my mom did it. Bring the people with a little bit of grit in your life. The towering rock bluffs are awe-inspiring.
EAT ALL THE ICE CREAM
Ice cream is the best food of all time and cost about the same as a craft beer. Check out Door County Ice Cream Factory, the classic and delicious Wilson’s, or Dairy View Country Store.
Pro tip: If you have a large group and are choosing to get ice cream at Dairy View Country Store buy a half-gallon, ask for 8 spoons. They got pissed at us and charged us 2 dollars for plastic spoons…….. Yup. We each pitched in a $1 and split our half-gallon versus each paying $5 per scoop. Who said millennials weren’t smart with their money?
Also feel free to make a late night ice cream run after a few beers. You have no reason not to, you’re not an adult yet.
This is my birthday night- trying to convince everyone we should get the cornucopia which is enough ice cream for 12 people. We would have got our picture on the wall!
Look at the goats on the roof of Al Johnson’s
Just look at them! You can go in and eat, it’s delicious but a little overpriced but the wait time is high and you don’t even get to hear the goats hoof-ing around up there. I would say spend your time doing other things that don’t cost as much. The coolest part is definitely the goats on the roof which you can see from… outside at the new outdoor beer garden.
Free wine samples all over
Don’t waste money on alcohol during the day. Search out free wine samples, buy a bottle to split around the campfire later. Since you are not an adult yet, buy the cheapest/biggest/highest alcohol content bottle. Don’t be concerned about finding the highest quality wine just yet, it all tastes the same after a few coffee cups full… because who remembers wine glasses camping?
The Red Putter
The Red Putter is a homemade, wonky mini golf course that is perfection. Complete with moving parts (sometimes they are human powered, swinging log I’m looking at you). This mini golf course is the best. Go late when there aren’t tons of families and bring your own adult beverages (alright I guess we are adult enough for that). I’m not exactly sure if this is technically allowed but we heard it from a co-worker and we didn’t get yelled at so choose your own adventure. 18 holes of pure fun especially when you’re in a few beers.
Good and cheap freakin’ wings, good freakin’ people. Booze for days. Wander off the main drags a little and you will be rewarded with cheaper drinks and a solid townie feel.
Spotted in their natural habitat, a bunch of not quite adults at AC Tap.
Door County Brewing Company
This brewing company not only has some really awesome brews, but they also book a great variety of music you aren’t able to see anywhere else on the peninsula. From bluegrass to jazz to latin or Cajun inspired tunes – you can catch it all here. They also recently opened up a new location that is the right amount of rustic and a little tiny bit hipster -there’s a deer head with a flower crown and a food truck. #keepwisconsinbeerd
Have a campfire at your campsite
Pick a campsite, any campsite! They are way cheaper than any hotel you will find. Consider #adulting for a tiny bit and make an advanced reservation. Or don’t and see if you’re lucky but also expect you might have to turn around and head home at the end of the day.
Campfires are the perfect end after a long day spent #notadulting. Crack open that bottle of wine, get a little irresponsibly drunk, hang with friends and talk about how someday you will be an adult. Or don’t. Laugh at how lucky you are you didn’t break anything at the expensive art gallery you accidentally walked into after a few too many free wine samples.
Look up at the sky, you might catch the northern lights. We did. Sit back and drink it all in just like the bottle in your #notadult hand.
I am suffering from a serious case of writers block and self doubt today. So instead of a blog post I have written a poem for you. It’s darker than I intended but I hope you like it!
Tomorrow is a Brand New Day
My thoughts swirl like a vat of misdirection,
bubbling and festering with clouds of exhaustion.
Jolts of anxiety and terror bombarde me
creating a toxic, twisting concoction.
Hopelessness builds around me,
negativity overwhelms me until it is all I see
I gasp, beginning to sputter and choke
and then, suddenly, I’m free.
My breath returns and air reaches my lungs
and the fog around my brain begins to dissipate.
Relief floods in and I feel peace settle in
as the balloon of anxiety starts to deflate.
A smile plays across my lips
and I know it’s going to be okay.
Life can knock you down, but
tomorrow is brand new day.