For the first 23 years of my life I lived with either my family or at least one roommate. When I got my own place in July 2015 I learned the true meaning of the word quiet. It was quite the change, good in some ways and bad in others. Shortly after the move I began talking to my tree, a beautiful tropical hibiscus named Gertrude. Unfortunately she didn’t answer, but she was alive and she was there so I talked. Sadly, she did not survive when cold weather came, but by then I was getting used to my muted existence.
I have compiled a list of pros and cons of living alone for anyone on the brink of the decision or anyone looking for a laugh. Enjoy!
No one will know if you snack on bacon.
We all have pregnant lady cravings and if there is someone else in the room it’s easier to squelch those cravings and eat normal food. When you live alone no one cares if you make bacon at 9:30 p.m. just to snack on.
No one cares if the toilet is dirty or if you don’t do the dishes.
When multiple people use dishes they tend to pile up faster and you don’t necessarily want to leave them for your roommate to do every time. If you do, you immediately feel guilty when you find them clean. Same goes for the toilet. One of perks of riding solo is you can literally have so many dirty dishes you suffocate beneath them and no ones cares.
You can watch whatever shows you want.
When you live with a handful of people there’s a good chance your tastes in TV will collide. There is also a chance your favorite shows will come at the same time. But when you live alone you have the run of the remote.
You can be as loud as you want in the morning.
When someone is sleeping a few feet away from where you are eating breakfast, a bite of cereal or a zipper can be earsplittingly loud. Well, when it’s just you, you can bang pots and pans around and no one will hear it. In fact, I started a band. We rehearsed every morning at 5 a.m. As an added bonus, when you want to sleep in no one will wake you up or judge you. Unless, of course, you forget to tell your band there is no rehearsal.
You can go to bed whenever you feel sleepy.
No one is around to need lights on or make noise so you can go to bed whenever your little heart desires. An early start to your day is full night’s sleep away!
All the mail is for you.
When it comes to packages, letters and birthday cards it’s all for you! You don’t have to share. You are queen or king of your mailbox.
There is no one to talk to at the end of a long day…or ever.
When you live alone there is no one to come home to at the end of the day and no one to talk to. Yes, you can call someone and talk to them but there’s something satisfying about flopping on the couch or your roommate’s bed and telling them about the Mento you accidentally dropped into the hood of an innocent bystander and kept a secret.
You’re the only one that cooks. Roommate dinners consist of you cooking for you, like always.
There’s something wonderful about eating food you did not have to cook. Unfortunately, when you live alone that doesn’t happen unless you pick up some fast food or carry out at which point you’re spending money anyway so you might was well cook. But who wants to cook every day? The answer: leftovers. Yum…
If you forget something there’s no one at home to bring it down to you.
When you are in a hurry or you live above the ground floor it sucks when you forget something. If you have a roommate you might be lucky enough that they’ll bring it down to you if you ask nicely or bribe them. When you live alone, you have to go back up the stairs, track mud into your apartment and get it yourself. That is unless you have plants that can walk and open door. I’m currently training some mini roses. I’ll let you know when we have break through.
If you lock yourself out, you call a locksmith or your landlord.
There is no roommate to call when you live alone and you lock your keys safely inside your apartment. Hopefully you have your phone and hopefully your landlord will answer and can come over. Just make sure to be extra cautious about your keys, especially when it’s cold.
All the bills are for you.
While it is exciting that all the mail comes to you. That also means that all the bills come to you and, as a result, they come out of your pocket. You have to love responsibility.
No one knows or cares if you don’t come home.
When you live alone nobody knows if you don’t come home. In fact, your apartment might even sigh in relief. The only person who will notice is your mail carrier when your mailbox starts to overflow. If you have a roommate they will at the very least notice that you did not return home. Of course, this does make fleeing under a false identify to live out your days under palms trees considerably easier. Not that I’ve thought about it.